April 30, 2008 § Leave a comment
Helping clients with interview nerves is one of the areas that I am particularly interested and specialise in. There is so much that can be done with nlp to help people feel much better about the upcoming interview or presentation.
We get into such a state. How does that happen? And why does it feel like a life or death situation?
Robert Dilts calls it a ‘thought virus’. I like to call it fantasising! What do we do – we think about the interview and we run a movie of the worst case scenario in our heads. That tends to be the experience of most people I see. Now the unconscious mind, which is the most of our mind, doesn’t know the difference between a real or vividly imagined event. If you shut your eyes and imagine eating a lemon, then you will probably start salivating. That is a physiological response to something made up in your head. And that’s true for everything else you make up.
So imagine, every time you think about that terrible ‘gone wrong’ interview you produce adrenalin appropriate for a terrible interview. Now it’s fine to think through all the possible questions you could be asked and think how best to answer but to construct a really bad scenario is counter productive to your needs right now.
And here’s why. Each time you do it, your unconscious mind on some level thinks it’s actually happened. So by the time you have mentally rehearsed a bad interview several times, you will have had several bad interviews from your unconscious minds’ perspective. So, no wonder it’s terrified of going for another one!
If you do not know exactly how an interview or presentation is going to play out because you don’t have a time machine, then you are fantasising! So what I suggest you do is have a fantasy about how great the interview is going to be. Now that is going to leave you in a much more resourceful state. Your mind will think that it’s great at interviews and another one, i.e. the real one will also be a success like all the other ones were.
Add to this the fact that we create conditioned responses like Pavlov’s dogs, then when you go to the interview you will have a physiologically conditioned response on the day which you have been carefully been creating during the days and weeks before.
So which response are you going to condition for yourself?
For more information on NLP go to http://www.mindschange.com
February 29, 2008 § Leave a comment
Well when you ask for feedback you can never be sure what you are going to get! I’m pleased to say it was all good. Whew. So here are some of the lovely things you said –
‘What a great way to spend an afternoon! A life changing experience in 3 hours. You will walk away knowing you have the ability to change you’. LH
‘Very well explained, great audience participation. I felt very relaxed on arrival. The presentation helped put a lot of missing pieces to the jigsaw. Very enjoyable from start to finish’. Liz G
‘It was fun and I understood what was being said’. Sara H
‘The workshop is a great way to boost your inner self. It’s great fun and a great way to boost your inner self’. Allison B
‘It encourages you to leave the past and become motivated for the future’. Sharyn G
‘Dorothy’s workshop was fantastic! Very informative. I left feeling motivated, focused, and believing that I could achieve anything. Most recommended. Thank you’. Clare A
So thanks again to all for making it a wonderful day.
Dorothy C. Le Grove
February 25, 2008 § Leave a comment
I would like to say a big thank you to all who attended last weeks workshop at Gather in Glasgow. It was a really fantastic afternoon with a great bunch of people.
Thanks also for all the great questions you threw at me – keeps me on my toes!
I am waiting for the last of the feedback forms and will publish a couple of them soon.
I look forward to seeing you again at future events.
for more information about NLP please go to http://www.mindschange.com
December 12, 2007 § Leave a comment
Interview Nerves How many people go into interviews absolutely churned up with nerves? Do you know, it doesn’t need to be the case. Rather than having that fight or flight misery how about feeling that the interview was a challenge, exciting, a bit of a roller coaster ride and no ones going to die! All the clients who have come to see me have all gone on to get the job and had a much better interview that they could have imagined. Here’s what some of them have to say …
In one short session Dorothy and NLP changed me from being terrified of job interviews to positively enjoying them as an opportunity to sell myself and my skills. Because of my particular circumstances I have to perform at interview on a relatively regular basis and I genuinely believe that I would not be where I am now if it had not been for Dorothy’s intervention. A year ago I was absolutely hating my job and feeling that my career future was pretty bleak. Since then I have performed strongly at interviews on many occasions and managed to secure three fantastic job opportunities which have reconfirmed my love of my job and put a spring back in my step. I can not even imagine how I felt before… Now, whenever I need to be confident and upbeat I have a set of tools I can call on which work instantly, easily and reliably – both within a work context and across the rest of my life. And it’s all thanks to Dorothy! D S
Can I just say that you and NLP changed my life! You definitely taught me how to think about things in a different way and to let a lot of things go that had been holding me back – so hooray for you and NLP. Since NLP session life has changed for the better. – L.V.
“I have had a fear of interviews for years and in fact most of my working life. I recently went for a job and would have pulled out of the interview had I not been put in touch with Dorothy via a colleague. I found only a couple of short NLP sessions immensely helpful in focusing positively and with confidence on what I had to do and I am happy to say I got the job! I intend to continue finding out more about NLP and how it can help me have a less stressful work/life balance”. Dot you have found your vocation! Thank you! D.H
So wherever you are, think seriously about seeing an NLP practitioner if interview nerves are a problem for you. You’ll have a much more positive and enjoyable experience as a result and it may mean the difference between getting the job and not. For more information about NLP see www.mindschange.com
August 31, 2007 § Leave a comment
Having Looked through this blog you may find that you have some questions that you would like answered. How can NLP help you in your daily life? Well it doesn’t need to be the big things, NLP is great for the little things. Actually, particularly the little things because its these everyday patterns of behaviour that have been there for years and which go un-noticed that can cause the most trouble.
So go for it! Hit me with anything. I look forward to your posts.
Or for more Information about what NLP is go to www.mindschange.com
August 29, 2007 § Leave a comment
NLP and Comfort Eating in Glasgow.
Why do people comfort eat? Well, to get a handle on that, you need to understand a bit about the unconscious mind. Your conscious mind can handle about seven plus or minus two bits of information at any one time. Think how many digits of a phone number you can remember when someone shouts them out and at what point your brain just gives up and they all merge into one.
In NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming we say that the unconscious mind on the other hand is dealing with so much more which includes everything coming at you from your senses, your breathing, blinking, moving your muscles and the rest. The figures vary between 4 to 11 million bits of information at any one time. To think we are conscious beings is to be very wide of the mark. The psychology establishment are now coming round to the idea that we are mostly unconscious beings who work on instinct and react to the world around them in similar ways to other animals.
So the analogy which is often used is that the conscious mind is like the captain of a ship and the unconscious mind is like the crew. Imagine that the crew are seven years old and we are getting even closer. Now each member of the crew and each part of your unconscious mind has your best interests at heart. So if its given a job it will do it to the best of its ability. Say for instance as a child, when something bad happened a parent would cheer you up by giving you some chocolate. If this happened a number of times, a part of you would associate cheering up with chocolate. As you grew up and things went wrong that part would step right up and offer its solution. The more often this happened the more anchored that would become to that idea.
Now if you go through a period of unhappiness then that part would be constantly there offering food as a comfort i.e. you would comfort eat.. What its not very good at is seeing the bigger picture which is that comfort eating and getting fatter is another source of unhappiness. If you are not being comforted in your life and it provides however fleeting a feeling of comfort, then its going to be difficult to persuade that part to stop what its doing. To stop it from comfort eating.
So what do you do? Well firstly you need to change your thinking. Look at your life and pay special attention to the areas where you are being comforted. If you are unhappy, the chances are that your internal filters are set to ignore the good parts of your life and see only the negative. You need to change that behaviour. Negative thoughts should be banned from your thinking. The minute they come at you actively think of something you enjoy or are grateful for. Really take charge of your thoughts. It requires discipline at first but gets easier and conditioned with time. Think about the things which do comfort you and concentrate on them. Make them bigger and brighter. Talk to yourself as you would to a seven year old child who you wanted to motivate. Get them to focus on anything good which happens. This will change your brain chemistry to produce more ‘happy’ chemicals and you will start to feel better. Its similar to getting fit; going to the gym can be difficult to start but if you keep going you start to see the benefits and it becomes a habit. Take charge of your thinking and it too becomes habitual.
Once you prove to the part which provides comfort in the form of food that actually you are comforted in so many other ways that it is a bit redundant, you can more easily persuade it to stop what it does – to stop you comfort eating.
Try it for two weeks and see what happens. Tell your unconscious mind that you’re not doing negative thoughts for a fortnight and that if it wants it can start it up again then. The chances are that when it sees how much better you feel, it won’t bother.
For more information about NLP visit www.mindschange.com/about.htm
August 25, 2007 § Leave a comment
What makes people who are generally successful , who manage their business and personal lives with aplomb, who happily navigate the complexities of the world we live in which would have thrown our grandparents… what makes them make bad decisions about food? Why can’t they loose weight when they can do so many other things effectively. Strategies can be one of the answers.
I was recently asked to go canyoning. ‘It will be fantastic’ my friends said. ‘you have to something exciting at least once a year’ they said. Now a few years ago, I would have said yes with no hesitation. Try everything at least once was my motto. So what was going on in my unconscious mind then for that to happen? Well, I would visualise the smiling faces of my friends, then I would have a feeling of excitement and camaraderie. Then I would talk to myself and say ‘ it will be such a laugh, lets do it!’ and I would sign up there and then.
We have five senses : visual, auditory, kinaesthetic ( or feeling ) , gustatory (taste) and olfactory (smell) or V,A,K,G,O. In the above example my strategy was V followed by K followed by A.
This time round I said no to the canyoning. So what happened there? Well I saw a picture of us diving into freezing cold water, followed by a kinaesthetic feeling of ‘Noooooo!’ followed by a voice saying ‘why would you want to put yourself through that? Followed by another feeling of ‘No’.
Can you see the difference between those two strategies? The young person in the first example didn’t run the visual movie of the consequences whereas the older person in the second example did.
Now in my experience, people who eat too much, who are not loosing weight, are running the first strategy or something similar. Whatever strategy they are running, its different from the strategy they run to make ‘good decisions’ in their lives. So one example would be someone who is normally very visual; when making decisions they run the movie in their minds eye and can see the consequences of the decision.They will then have a feeling of whether it’s a good decision or a bad one. When they analyse the bad decisions about eating cake they find that they had a feeling that they wanted it, but didn’t run the movie or the visuals of the consequences. Its like the picture was static, they could only see the cake and have the feeling of wanting to eat it.
People who make good decisions about food and who don’t experience weight gain get to feel bad, before they eat. People who make bad decisions about food and don’t experience weight loss feel bad after they’ve eaten and that’s the difference.
So a suggestion would be if you want to loose weight, don’t have a static picture. Run the movie of the consequences of eating the cake and exaggerate it. Up the calories by 1000%. See a picture of your waistline growing by 10 inches. Make whatever pictures you need to in your mind that will help you to make the right choice.
So look at the good decisions you make in the parts of your life which are successful, discover your strategy and map it across to your eating life. Rather than take a diet pill, change your strategy.
This may be the only thing you need to do or it may be part of the answer. There are a number of techniques NLP can use to help you loose weight now.
Minds Change provides one-to-one coaching and training and is based in Glasgow Scotland
Dorothy C. Le Grove is a Master practitioner of NLP
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August 3, 2007 § Leave a comment
The fear of failure – good thing or a bad thing? Yes and no. Think about it, you have an exam to sit and you need to study. Very few people actually enjoy studying but the fear of failure miraculously allows us to find the resources we need to sit at a desk for hours cramming. The same holds for writing reports, training for a sport and so on. However, the fear of failure crosses the threshold on to the bad side when it starts to hold us back from the things we should be doing – taking a chance in our career, sitting down to write or paint, phoning someone we haven’t spoken to for years. Studies have shown that we are much more likely to take a chance and gamble in order not to loose what we already have than gamble in order to get something we don’t have. Now that leads to a very static life likely to get caught in an eddy. People don’t realise how stuck they are.
Where does this fear of failure come from? Well the interesting thing is, as in evolutionary design, the mind doesn’t create new fear for every new situation, it builds on previous fear. You can usually trace fear back through your timeline to a very young age. So you first feel fear, great, it produced the desired response and you got a result , whatever that may have been, you ran away or attracted your mothers attention. The next time you are in a tricky situation you know where to get that fear feeling again. And this continues for the rest of your life growing an intricate and powerful fear response. And a lot of the time the fear is completely disproportionate for the situation … say in an interview where the adrenelin produced is sufficient to get you out of a tiger chasing senario but certainly not helpful in a situation where you need to think clearly and appear relaxed…. I don’t think so!
However, help is at hand. NLP can break the neurological connections to that old fear allowing you to create a new and more appropriate fear for the adult you now are. It wont stop your ability to feel fear, it just means that you are no longer tapping into the deep, pit of the stomach fear that is completely inappropriate and is holding you back mightily.
Do not let the fear of failure hold you back any longer … it can so easily be got rid of, its just a waste of your time and time is precious in this life. Think about what it will be like in the future, now, when you are doing the thing you were meant to do , as you look back on the way it used to be as you think about it , now.
Dorothy C. Le Grove is an NLP Master Practitioner. she lives in Glasgow Scotland.